Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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