and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
