You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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