Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
