he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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