trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
found the other keg... it's in the tree
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
