Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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