Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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