Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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