Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize