I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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