we have officially lost it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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