"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
