She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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