he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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