just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
