We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
