He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
