2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
