Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What a dumb baby whore.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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