is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this will be a night to untag.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
