When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
