i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
