and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
