I cockslap morals
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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