I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
