dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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