This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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