I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
are you so shy because you have an std?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
