He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize