is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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