So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
