jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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