I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
