Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize