It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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