i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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