I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
