I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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