u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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