Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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