So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
