why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
