is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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