you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
