the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
