I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
