I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
