I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
