how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
