I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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