I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize