I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize