what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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