I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
