i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
