for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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