thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize