Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
