fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Come back. Shots need mouths.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
