Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
