And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize