hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize