Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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