I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
we should paint friendship bongs
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