He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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