in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
