You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
